What Does Genderfluid Mean when Applied to Me?
1. denoting or relating to a person who does not identify as having a single unchanging gender.
“the actor, DJ, and artist identifies as gender-fluid”

From Oxford Languages.

In simple terms, a genderfluid person experiences gender as something that changes, and those changes can be because of many factors.

Like Non-Binary people, Genderfluid people are under the general trans umbrella.

While there are commonalities between genderfluid people, most I’ve met have their own way of identifying as genderfluid. I’m going to talk about how and why I identify that way.

My personal type of fluidity flows through a cycle. I can spend a few days feeling more masculine, then a few days feeling like neither gender, then I’ll go to feeling feminine, and then the process will flow the other way again.

This cycle is usually slow moving, but some days, I’ll wake up and just suddenly feel the opposite of what I felt the night before.

Now, one quirk about me is that I don’t feel dysphoria. I may alter my clothing a little, depending on where I am on the spectrum, but I generally feel comfortable in my body.

I identify my gender phases and current identity through my emotional responses and physical needs. Without getting too deep into it, I do things differently, even during self-care.

My tastes in entertainment and art also change. I will switch what I’m reading, or the games I’m playing, based on who I am on a particular day. This change also affects my writing. When I’m femme identifying, I will write more feminine characters, and vice versa.

My extreme emotions also have different triggers at each end of the spectrum. What will anger me when I feel masculine will only annoy me when I feel feminine.  What will make me cry when I’m femme is easily brushed off when I’m masc.

Even the form of creativity I will work on can shift with my gender. I can go from written to visual to audio, depending on where I am on the spectrum that day.

These behaviours and expressions have been with me all my life. I’ve lived for years thinking I was just odd and different. It was only when I started reading more about gender and the gender experience that all of this fell into place.

So if you see me crying over something a “man” shouldn’t cry over or getting angry at something only a “man” would, then those are indicators of who I am on that day.

With this kind of thing, there’s always the question of sexuality. Genderfluid people can experience a shift in the type of person they’re attracted to as their gender shifts. I’m not one of them. I am always attracted to femininity. It’s just always been that way.

I have no problem answering questions, but this is the kind of post that attracts hate, so I will not be accepting comments. If you’ve seen me post this on socials, please ask there.

18 July 2023